So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
