just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
