just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
