awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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