out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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