At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
