Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
