I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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