grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
