Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this just has baby written all over it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
