new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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