You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
