I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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