plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
