i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
