ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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