can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
