Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
