Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
