I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
