The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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