my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
