he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
