omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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