I'm really into asian looking animals
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
