pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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