Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
