I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
