Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
