4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
