i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
