when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
