STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
