doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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