Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
