We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize