When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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