Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize