My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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