I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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