Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
