Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
