Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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