CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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