Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
