I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
