do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
