TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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