Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
