The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
