So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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