I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
