I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize