For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize