My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
a search helicopter?!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
