I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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