I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
