I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
