It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
