you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
