I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
