remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize