is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
